Weeding Biographies and Memoirs from the Library to a Tune from the Mikado

As some day it must happen that some books must be withdrawn
I've got a little list - I've got a little list
Of dreary, old, and tattered books that might well cause us to yawn
And that never would be missed - they never would be missed!

There are pestilential memoirs from loud politicos
Their long and suspect narratives will surely make you doze
And tales by business gurus who sail around in yachts
And adolescent rock stars who now have been forgot
And all the friends of friends who say they saw the starlet kissed
Their books would not be missed - they'd none of them be missed

(chorus)
He's got 'em on the list - he's got 'em on the list
And they'll none of 'em be missed - they'll none of 'em be missed

And there are Watergate conspirators who've enjoyed their prison times
And the lawyers who tried O.J. for his assorted crimes
There are television comedians who shows all got the ax
And haute cuisine chefs who now sell frozen snacks
Add long-haired bearded wrestlers to this distinguished list
Their books would not missed - they never would be missed

(chorus)
He's got 'em on the list - he's got 'em on the list
And we don't think they will be missed - we're sure they'll not be missed

And there are unauthorized biographies that now have grown quite stale
Kitty Kelley comes to mind - I've got her on the list
And tales about baseball players who should have gone straight to jail
These books are on the list - and they never will be missed
Annoying people, too - Rosie O'Donnell - Dennis Rodman - Jesse Ventura - and many more
Their times have all flit - now their books just sit - they'll none of 'em be missed

(chorus)
You may put 'em on the list - you may put 'em on the list
And they'll none of 'em be missed - they'll none of 'em be missed!